The Qualities of Any Good Partner
By Dr. Nicole Doss
What qualities should you look for in a partner? While each of us have our own deal-breakers and ideals of a healthy relationship, there are certain essential qualities that are universal. Here are some of the most important qualities to look for in a partner.
Makes you feel comfortable in your own skinA good partner is someone who helps you to be your best, most genuine self. They don’t try to change who you are or put undue pressures on you. Instead, they foster an environment where you can have fun and feel relaxed and at ease. Being comfortable in your own skin isn’t something that just happens overnight - it’s a skill that needs to be honed and nurtured over many conversations shared with the right people. A good partner understands this and creates the space you need to grow while supporting you along the way.
They make you laugh, even when you don't want toIn healthy relationships, friends should always know how to make you laugh, even when laughing is the last thing you want to do. Laughter is an incredibly healthy behavior; it's been linked to better mental and physical health, improved immunity, and increased stress relief. Spending time with a person whose good sense of humor can make us see the lighter side of life can be incredibly beneficial. Inside jokes and the ability to laugh is priceless. Although there are times when laughing isn't appropriate, if you're lucky enough to have a loving partner they'll be able to provide a moment of comic relief in any situation and remind us that laughter truly is the best medicine.
Someone who is patient and understanding, especially when things are toughEveryone loves the people who have a kind and peaceful vibe about them, especially when times are tough. These are the people who have patience and understanding whenever things get hard; they don't try to worsen an already trying situation but instead attempt to make it easier for everyone around them. They don't overreact or get frustrated easily, no matter how much pressure is placed on them. Patience with your ever-changing moods is a sign of mutual respect and emotional intimacy. Mutual respect is a great foundation for all loving partnerships. A great partner always strives to show their commitment to making the relationship work through their calmness and light-hearted attitude.
A partner who is supportive and encouraging, no matter whatHaving a supportive and encouraging partner can help you make it through adversity with ease. When things are going wrong and when life throws challenges in your way, having that special someone by your side to pick you up and keep your spirits high can be a literal lifesaver. Whether it's just listening to you vent or affirming positive changes in your life, having an ally who isn't afraid to stand with you is one of the greatest gifts life can give. Someone who cares about their partner's emotions is a true find. It's the kind of encouragement and support that helps us persevere against even the toughest odds.
Is physically attractive to You!Intimate relationships are largely about emotions and communication, but there is no way to to learn physical attraction: its either there or its not. You can waste a ton of time on developing a loving partnership with someone you are not physically attracted to. Liking someone and wanting to have sex with them are very different. So, if this attraction is not there for you, don't waste their time of yours. Just say goodbye and move on.
Is a good communicatorGood communication is one of the most important characteristics of any good relationship. A partner who takes the time to really listen and understand your needs and wants, who can express themselves in a loving and respectful way, can make all the difference. Communication is the foundation of trust between partners. Your partner needs to be brave enough to be honest with you, and open up about their feelings. Having someone you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences with is essential for creating a strong bond. And if there are issues, talking about them as soon as they arise can help resolve conflicts quickly and contribute to a thriving relationship.
Someone who shares your interestsRelationships don't get very far if partners have no shared interests. Though there os no one in the world who is going to like everything you like, you need to have at least one and preferably several, common interests. Remember that a partner should be a best friend and someone that you look forward to hanging out with. If you are constantly trying to force yourself to enjoy an activity you find desperately boring you will not be happy. There needs to be common ground between you.
Someone whose ideal future look like yoursIf your looking to have a lasting relationship, you and your partner need to be on the same page regarding you future together. Partnerships need to lan for the long haul. If one partner wants children and a house in the suburbs and the other wants to follow their favorite band around the country for a few years, one of them will have to sacrifice their dream to satisfy the other partner. Whether its raising children, living in a particular area, or traveling the world, make sure that your partner at least generally wants the same things you do.
Someone who has a family you likeThey say when you marry a person, you marry their family too. This can be a blessing, a curse, or both. You will be spending a lot of time with these people in the future, so make sure you can take them. This is not necessarily a deal-breaker for everyone. People are not in charge of who their relatives are and you may have found a wonderful person who has the worst family in the world. This kind of think happens a lot. If you can't get rid of the family and you can't live without your partner, find ways to make family encounters easier. Remember that your partner probably loves their insufferable family members, is aware of what is wrong with them, and is probably struggling being around them too. Try to be supportive and keep criticism to yourself.
Someone who shares your basic valuesThere are some things you can fake, but you should never have to sacrifice you personal beliefs. Your values, morals, and opinions are a big part of what makes you you. It will be very hard to be in a relationship with someone who completely disagrees with you on fundamental topics like religion, money, children, etc. If your family is important to you and your partner tells you they never plan on having kids, that may not be the right person for you. Make sure that whatever goals or dreams both of you have fit together harmoniously.
And finally, someone who loves and accepts you for exactly who you areWe all crave for someone who can look beyond our weird quirks and unusual habits and still love us for exactly who we are. Sure, having a support system filled with people trying to push us in the right direction is great, but the one person that you need in your corner is the one that loves and accepts you just as you are - weirdness included. Having this person to turn to during hard times makes dealing with difficult situations a lot easier, as they will be able to understand what you're going through without judgment. When it comes down to it, finding someone who loves and accepts you just as you are is invaluable.
Ultimately, finding the right partner for you is about connecting with someone who makes you feel accepted and loved just as you are. A perfect partner is someone who brings out the best version of yourself: they make you laugh when times get tough, understand your goals and ambitions, support your decisions even when they don’t have to, and remind you that there's always something to be thankful for. From small acts of kindness to showing genuine appreciation and affection, having a good partner can provide a stable foundation in life that can cultivate a healthier and happier mindset. So now we look to you: what does your ideal partner look like? Let me know in the comments below!